Jen Psaki Really is a Trooper, And Her Hypnotic Tones are Calming

On Wednesday, I watched part of a Jen Psaki press conference.

She really is a trooper. Some of these questions are completely nuts, and she just plows through.

Here are two examples:

  • I am told that women’s jobs are in the infrastructure bill, and I wondered why it is that you consider women of color to be infrastructure?
  • Did Joe Biden watch the video of the migrant child crying and what was his response?

She avoided answering these questions with the same dead-eyed, emotionlessness that she avoids answering all questions. She didn’t flinch, let alone start laughing.

She has a total ability to maintain a rhythmic coldness, like the low hum of an electric engine. She never pauses. She is like some kind of machine.

It’s a thankless job she has, just going up there nearly every day and doing nothing but avoiding answering questions. She is actually, somehow, able to do “friendly banter” while also continuing to show no emotion at all.

When I saw it, she congratulated some black woman on her wedding anniversary, and commented on her cake, in exactly the same muted tones.

She is clearly the single most talented member of the Biden Administration.

I don’t think she gets nearly enough credit, from anyone, for her dead lack of emotion, and her ability to discuss very serious and utterly ridiculous matters without there being a beat of difference in the measured, hypnotic rhythm.

I am going to start watching these more regularly.

Her velvety vocalizations are pure ASMR.

I would hire this woman as a personal assistant and muse. I would ask her questions from Socrates, Jeopardy and rap songs, and then listen to her babble her calming nonsense words.

I wish that someone would put up edits of these press conferences that had the journalists’ voices removed, and only had her voice. The questions have no relevance anyway, because she doesn’t answer any of them. The only reason people listen to these conferences is for the alluring muted tones of the master soother Psaki.