September 13, 2018
My favorite thing about the presidency, by far, has been the agony it has generated in people that I hate.
No matter what happens, the Universe maintains itself in Order and in balance. Matter and energy are conserved, and all forces have equal and opposite reactions. This can be thought of philosophically in terms of Yin and Yang, the complementary interplay between opposites, or exemplified materially in the theory of the zero-energy universe, according to which, positive energy, as matter and energy, is offset by negative energy, as gravity, to a net sum of zero.
In the very long run, we’ll have to hope that this is true, because this is the only sort of universe that will not eventually tear itself apart or collapse in on itself, but rather remain stable indefinitely.
More immediately – every time a shitlib self-harms in the name of resisting Trump, his or xir pain and despair represents a loss of life force. In order for the Universe to preserve its equilibrium and perfect karma, this loss must be offset by a gain, somewhere else. Part of this energy is recovered directly, by me, in the form of pure ectasy and hope.
I feed on their delicious misery.
A longtime College of Southern Nevada sociology professor is facing felony gun charges in connection with an on-campus shooting on the second day of classes.
Mark J. Bird was charged last month with discharging a gun within a prohibited structure, carrying a concealed weapon without a permit and possessing a dangerous weapon on school property, court records show. He was found bleeding from a self-inflicted gunshot wound to his arm about 8:15 a.m. on Aug. 28 outside a bathroom in the Charleston campus K building.
Inside the bathroom, campus police found a $100 bill taped to a mirror along with a note that said, “For the janitor,” according to Bird’s arrest report. On the floor of the restroom was a black-and-white, .22-caliber pistol and one spent shell casing.
Even while shooting himself, he couldn’t help but go out of the way to signal his suicidal solidarity with the janitor, who shouldn’t have even touched the place since it was a crime scene and the blood was evidence. It also didn’t occur to him that he could just shoot himself outside, and bleed on the grass instead, and keep the $100.
This is about the level of logic and signaling I would expect from a sociologist. This is unfortunate, really. Society is interesting and immensely complex and it deserves a better quality of person to study it.
Also, what a pussy. If a real American wants to shoot himself in the arm, he does it with an AR-15. An AR-15 is like a birth certificate – if you don’t have one, you aren’t a real American.
Then again, real Americans don’t shoot themselves. That’s pretty gay.
The sociology professor was hired Aug. 26, 1993, and was an emeritus faculty member at the time of the shooting, college spokesman Richard Lake said. Bird was not scheduled to teach any courses during the fall 2018 semester.
Bird was employed with the college as of Tuesday, although Lake said it was not clear what disciplinary actions, if any, would be taken against him.
Is it useful to punish people for punishing themselves?
A 911 call was made after several CSN employees and at least one student saw Bird stumble out of the bathroom, bleeding, before he collapsed, the report said. None of the witnesses — who later told police they only recalled hearing “a loud noise” — initially knew that Bird was armed and had shot himself, according to the report.
One college employee told police that he held Bird’s hand to calm him down as others tried to stop the bleeding. While waiting for authorities to arrive, Bird said he had shot himself in protest of President Donald Trump, police noted in their report. The report did not elaborate.
This is a great idea.
Why aren’t more shitlibs following this brave example?
The jury is in, and the verdict is that if you want to Resist Trump, don’t wave around a fake sign or chant gay slogans – just shoot yourself. I’m not sure why he chose the arm specifically, though. Anyone who really wants to Resist Trump should realize that Trump is nothing more than a manifestation of Toxic Masculinity, and the best way to Resist that is to shoot yourself in the nuts.
Are you reading this, shitlibs? This is your moment.
Be somebody. Shoot yourselves.